Living Well with Parkinsons Disease

Dancing in the Rain: Lessons Learned on my Personal Journey with PD (more at Copyright 2013-20 Sheryl Jedlinski

Parkinson’s means always having to say, “I’m sorry”

Couple Crying

Parkinson’s disease means always having to say, “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry I spilled my drink. I’m sorry I dropped my napkin. I’m sorry I don’t remember, I fell, I had a fender bender, I am late…  again. You fill in the blanks with your own experiences.

Our symptoms come, and go, and come back again… usually more intensely each time. Some days they are less noticeable than others, but they are never far away, just temporarily eclipsed by a new symptom we have yet to conquer. We each live in our very own hellish adaptation of the movie Ground Hog Day, only unlike Bill Murray, we never get things totally right. We adjust as best we can and move on, spending our lives on the run (figuratively, of course), constantly looking over our shoulder, much like David Janssen, a doctor wrongly convicted of murder, in the original tv series, The Fugitive.

This explains why, like a bad penny, I keep showing up again and again and again on my favorite physical therapist’s roster. “As much as I like you, we’ve got to stop meeting this way,” I tell her. “Can’t we just have lunch and go shopping instead?”

Beata is not amused. “You stopped doing the exercises I gave you last time, didn’t you? I told you never to stop doing them. Why did you stop?”

She doesn’t really want a truthful answer like: I was bored; they got too easy; I had other things to do; I thought I was cured. We’ve been through this enough times that I know anything I say can and will be held against me. My best bet is to look sheepishly at the ground and throw myself on the mercy of her physical therapy court. This, of course, is an oxymoron. “Mercy” is not even in Beata’s vocabulary. Her mantra is “harder, higher, harder… Did I tell you to stop? Remember, I’m watching you.”

“I’m sorry I stopped doing my exercises,” I tell her, not wanting to disappoint her. “I promise I won’t disappoint you again.”

6 comments on “Parkinson’s means always having to say, “I’m sorry”

  1. Tem and Larry Williams
    November 5, 2013

    I know how hard you work….at anything and everything you do… and Beata are on the same page, however, I think she owes you a lunch and shopping date…..

  2. 100wickedwords
    November 6, 2013

    Sounds like Beata should be “beatified” next time the cardinals vote on candidates for sainthood! You’re lucky to have her in your life. Besides, no great relationship comes without some pain. XXX

  3. Sharon Lebow
    November 6, 2013

    I haven”t written before, but want you to know how much I appreciate you & your blogs. I relate to each one of them. Thank you, thank you – your latest: “I’m sorry!” Came at just the right time.
    Sharon Lebow

    • mydancingintherain
      November 6, 2013

      Thank you Sharon for your kind words. We’re all in this together, and supporting each other is what makes it more bearable.

  4. drsuej
    November 9, 2013

    Can’t wait to receive your blogs. They are very uplifting and inspiring and I need all the help I can get.

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This entry was posted on November 5, 2013 by in Back to Normal, Parkinson's symptoms, Physical Therapy.

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